Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 46:1, Psalm 47:1
Last night I attended a summer preview of 31 products(WAIT! Don't go this is NOT A SALES PITCH!!) and during the preview there were several women that gave their "why" story. This is why they started their 31 business. Anyway, the first one was a lady, we will call her Ruth, and she started by telling how her daughter lost her baby and her ability to walk well from a blood clot in her leg. I almost fell out of my chair and on my face. Did she say that her daughter had a blood clot during pregnancy and lost her baby and ability to walk well to the point that she could not work??? OH my! I have taken God for granted! AGAIN! But this time in a huge way!! This story felt all too familiar to me, but with a twist. I realized in that very moment that if it weren't for the grace of God, my mother could have told the same story.
As Ruth told her story, I fought back the tears. I felt so silly crying over a 31 story(if you had heard it, you would have cried too!), but I could tell that very same story with a different ending. She continued talking about blood clotting disorders and depression and doctors appointments and the need to help her daughter. Thirty-one afforded her the ability to stay with her daughter and earn a living. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I have ran into many people throughout the years that said they had a blood clot too, but it wasn't one of the same magnitude as mine.
Yep that's right... I said mine. Blood clots are very common late in pregnancy, but not in the beginning. When I was 10 weeks pregnant, the doctor's found what I am going to describe in layman's terms as a huge blood clot in my leg. They had never seen anything like it. They admitted me to the hospital. After an afternoon of tons of tests, six doctors stood at the end of my bed and said, "you have a DVT. you have a 50/50 chance of making it through the night. we don't know how to treat you, so we will call UAB in the morning and see if they can help us. Every treatment that we can think of will hurt the baby even though there is no way you will carry it full term...Dr. Christenberry insists we try to save mom and baby. Until then... lay flat, don't move, we will put heparin in your IV and hope for the best." Excuse me doctor did you just say I could die...TONIGHT!? What!!!? This baby I have prayed for and tried so hard to conceive is not gonna make it??
Excuse me GOD this what not in the plans. I got married, it was time to have the baby you wanted me to have and now I could die and not have that baby. Well to say I freaked out a bit was an understatement. There was an angel of a nurse that sat by my side all night(I am not kidding!) and prayed for me. My mom immediately had a prayer chain going with some of the greatest pray warriors I have ever known. I made it through the night, but was not out of the woods yet. Ron Hayes, Jimmy Battles, Bro. David Cofield and a couple of other men(I wish I could remember who else was there) came to the hospital(you know it's bad when they call in the big guns!) and prayed over me and the baby. I ended up in the hospital for 10 days before they would let me walk again. Oh yeah... apparently after 10 days you forget how... I could stand, but could not remember how to move my feet. After a couple of days, I began to shuffle my feet enough to walk around. They kept working with me to get my feet to working. They let me go home, but I still had the clot and the baby and wasn't walking well. I would need round the clock supervision. They told me how it would feel if the clot moved to my heart or lungs(I'm not sure why I had panic attacks that whole pregnancy!)and sent me on my way home.
I came home. Learned to walk again.( I have lots of funny stories of me and Seth during this time. He had a back injury at the same time! Poor Mom and Dad and Jamey!)
In about the 5th month I began to spot on a Sunday morning. I cried out(no screamed) to God begging him to let me have this baby. After all we had been through, please don't take her! Mom went to church and told her friends(no doubt Susie, Charlotte, Carolyn and Jean were in that mix). They prayed for me. I went to the doctor and found out she was fine, but I had kidney stones! Yikes! Are you kidding me? But ok yay the baby is fine!
I went to the doctor and the lab every week. I had sonograms once a month. I ended up with gall stones before it was all said and done. I could tell many more details, but I won't. It was three weeks until my due date. Routine doctor's visit... It was time! Michaela Elizabeth Pickard was born on May 20, 1998 at 3:44 in the afternoon weighing 6 pounds and 8 ounces! Tina said I looked so shocked when she was born! I was! My little miracle baby was finally here and she was perfect(just asked Dr. Christenberry... he demanded a 10 on her apgar!)!
Last night as I listened to "Ruth's" story. I realized mine was the same as her daughters with a different ending. I am not sure why God chose to allow me to walk and Michaela to be born. Why would she lose her baby and lose of full function of her leg? I don't know the answer to that question or any others like it, but I do know as sure as I am typing this story He has a plan for all of our lives.
I do have days when my leg swells and it hurts. There are ugly purple broken veins near my ankle that will never go away. Today I rejoice in those things! Thank you God for vericose veins!!!!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
I have been locked out of my account for a year. Well at least I thought I was! It was simply simple to get back in to the system. I never even tried before today. Isn't it funny how we build things up as an impossibility and then when actually faced with the task, it is actually not nearly as hard as we have imagined it might be. This is true so often in my life. I stress and worry and whine and dread and then ... Viola.., I am there, standing dreadingly in the face of this insurmountable monster feeling sure I might die at any moment, but no...the monster is not a monster at all and in fact it's more like a stuffed animal than the wildly beast I previously imagined. God is so awesome like that! Well, here's to a new year of happy blogging!