Sunday, May 23, 2010
I totally just had an AHA moment. My daughter just turned 12. She will not swallow pills. She will gag and cry and scream that she is going to choke. It makes me so mad. So after a very dramatic traumatic episode with trying yet again to swallow a pill. I was livid. She spit water in the floor, down the front of her shirt, she had disintegrated pill running down her chin... it was absolutely infuriating me! I looked at her and said, " I am so offended that you do not trust me enough to do what I tell you to do. Why in the world would I hurt you or put you in harms way? I almost died getting you here. I worked so hard when you were a baby to make sure that you were safe. I didn't give you hard candy. I introduced the foods when the doctor told me to. I never failed to fasten you in your carseat. Why, why, why would I put my child that I love more than life itself in harms way??? It is crazy that you think your 12 year old mind knows more than my 40 year old mind! That you know something that I don't know! that you can tell what is best for you better than I can. It is a slap in my face and it hurts me beyond measure that you do not trust me enough to simply do as I ask and see that it is for your best!"... wow my own words to my daughter penetrated my heart like a dagger. How much more does God love us? How much more should we trust God? How much must it break His heart that we have so little trust for this almighty God that not only created us, but created the entire universe?! Oh how you have humbled my heart tonight, Lord. Forgive me for my unbelief. Much Love!